As teens and twenty somethings we live for a life without a schedule. If only we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to do it, life would be so much better….
It’s amazing how life’s view changes as we get older…get married…have kids…move up in our career…
Sitting here a 29 year old wife and mother of two I realize how much I need a schedule in my life. How much happier and smoother my life seems to go when I have a schedule.
Our pastor preached recently on how different life can be when we have a schedule. He talked about the Jewish holiday Yom Kippur and how it is a day of atonement. As Americans we look to the future and say “these are the things I’m going to start in my life”. We never want to look at the past and see what we did wrong that needs to be fixed or changed. The Jewish holiday is all about that.
As I look at the past year I see how crazy things have gotten in our life. We felt the leading of God to move from the metro area where we had both been all our lives to a small town an hour and a half away. I got pregnant shortly after and we realized that we needed me to go to work part time to help with our finances. Also shortly after moving here we began a new church with some friends of ours and when I say began a new church I mean starting a church from the ground up, with Brad and I as the children’s pastors.
Wow can life take a crazy turn in a short time. As I look back at this year I realize how hectic it has been and how much I need a schedule in my life. To start I need God time! Before we moved I had set aside time everyday to spend with God…just me and Him. Well that has taken a back seat lately and needs to be brought back to the head of the list.
My prayer today is that you and I both see the needs we have in our life and begin to put a schedule into place and make sure that God time is at the top of that list.
Ok, this will be my last post about the accident….unless God gives me more insight through remembering it.
This morning marked one week since my car accident. As I waited for a friend to come pick up Naomi and I for church I was listening to my new Chris Tomlin CD See the Morning. Being goofy I was dancing around the room, holding Naomi…then I started listening to the words he was signing.
“You and I are made to worship
You and I are called to love
You and I are forgiven and free
You and I embrace surrender
You and I choose to believe
You and I will see who we were meant to be”
As I danced with Naomi and listened to the words I began to cry. How awesome is our God. He was using worship to completely release me from all the worries I have had regarding the accident. He may not have caused the accident but He allowed it to happen, knowing I could handle what was happening, knowing I would come out the other side closer to Him, knowing I would realize that He made me! He didn’t make me to worry, to stress, to live in depression. He made me to worship Him and that just happens to be my favorite thing to do. I absolutely love putting on a worship CD (preferably Chris Tomlin) and signing to Him. My favorite part of Sunday morning services has always been worship. Coming together with other Christians and singing praise to our God!!
Sharing that moment with my daughter this morning, though she’ll never remember it, will be something I’ll never forget….her first introduction to worship.
Take a few minutes of your day and put on a worship CD, maybe you aren’t one to dance around the living room, but at least listen to the words and find something in what God is trying to tell you through a song.
Wow what a roller coaster life is. One minute I’m thanking God for our safety in last weekends accident and the other I’m stressing out realizing the financial burden I have put on my husband and I. I sit here as we speak awaiting a phone call from our insurance adjuster. She is supposed to be calling us with an estimate on the damages of our car. I don’t know which to hope for….a total loss so I can get a new car and get back to work….or it’s fixable and I have to wait for the car to be fixed before going back to work but I get my car back.
As I contemplate this I begin to wonder about how trivial my situation is to so many people at this moment. Yes it’s a big deal to me but at the same time I have a friend whose 2 year old daughter is in the hospital and we are praying for her to regain function of her kidney’s so that she isn’t on dialysis for the rest of her life. (Her name is Eliza, please keep her in your prayers! We know that God can perform miracles.) Isn’t it amazing how no matter what we are going through there is always someone in a worse situation than ours…but at the same time there is always someone in a better one. We always feel we are either the one in between or the one that’s worse off. We can never seem to feel like we are the one on top, at least not for very long. Knowing me and how I react to everything, even if our car is totaled and I get a new car I’ll still feel like the one in between. I might for a little bit, maybe a day, feel like the one on top but it won’t last long.
It makes me wonder if God allows me to feel like this on purpose. I think of Esther, now there’s a roller coaster. She was the one on top…she was queen! She may not have started out there but the roller coaster eventually stopped there. But she couldn’t forget those worse off, her people. God had put her in a position (on top) so that she could help those on the bottom.
Maybe I don’t ever feel like I’m the one on top, at least not for very long, but I can help those on the bottom. I can help them so that being on the bottom is only a temporary thing. Even if I can’t do anything specific in their situation I can pray. God has called us all to pray. We are to pray for those one top and those on the bottom. As you go about your day today think about that and say a prayer for 2 people….top and bottom.
My first entry to the world of blogs. I have been a member of a forum for about a year and just recently started reading different blogs. The more I would leave posts on other blogs, the more I realized I was leaving the kind of comments that I needed to put on a blog of my own. I am definitely a product of my generation and am constantly online. Being a stay at home mom allows me the privileges of being online a lot.
As I sit here typing I listen to my husband’s video game and my 3 year old talking to my 2 month old….he’s doing all he can to make her smile and when she starts to cry he repeats “sorry” over and over. Life is so interesting. The thing I love best about being a mother is looking at life through my kids eyes. Sunday morning the kids and I were on our way to church (my husband Brad had left earlier than us) and we had an accident. Due to the sun and some very tall bushes I could not see the stop sign in the neighborhood I was driving in. I was driving east and another car was driving south and we ran into each other. The kids, along with me, both started crying and our 3 year old son was very shaken and wouldn’t even talk until my husband arrived. Our 2 month old little girl however was done crying by the time I got out of the car and fell right back to sleep. Despite a sore arm and neck on me everyone was ok.
I say all that to say that as I sit here tonight 2 1/2 days later I still can’t get it out of my head. Every quiet moment I have I replay the accident in my head. Yet my husband and 2 kids are past it and laughing and playing together. It is such a huge help to be able to watch them and know life goes on. A part of me was annoyed all day Sunday that everyone else’s life was still going while I felt mine was on hold. Today I realize that I have to continue on and know that God has everything under control in His hands.
Which reminds me of something else…people who might say “where was God during your accident?” To me He was right there beside me, He kept my foot from being a little heavier on the gas so that I wasn’t going any faster than I was. If I had been going any faster (I usually do have a heavy foot) than the other vehicle would have gone right into the driver side of the car, where my son sits right behind me. I don’t even want to imagine that happening. And that’s where God was right with me keeping me from going just the slightest bit faster. Needless to say my faith got a little stronger with this realization!!
(my favorite verse) Hebrews 11:1 – “Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you can not see. ” I hope for much and can never see where it all will come from but I know the God that created the world and that put everything in motion so I know that He is who I put my faith in and that He will be there for me every moment of the day and night.